.@FocusedSpender is sharing the self-help work

The latest video from @FocusedSpender has one key point in it that I will attempt to paraphrase:

I often spend money during moments of elation. I am very, very vulnerable to overspending when I am very, very happy.

Here in the rasx() context, I had to go there. I had to go the Blues. This Blues leads to the question, ‘How would this outburst of self-described uncontrollable spending affect a serious, adult, love relationship?’

Since @FocusedSpender is clearing willing to make video after video about financial self-improvement my musings certainly does not apply to her. But I can imagine a situation where the elated spender is accusing her life partner of trying to make her unhappy “all of the time.” She would accuse her partner of trying to control her because she is out of control (at times, by her own admission).

Here are some of the ways such a relationship flaw would “work”:

  • Her partner is understandably charmed by the youthful looks of her overspending partner and silently financially compensates. This often ends when the fountain of youth (for both partners) runs dry.

  • Her partner learns to subliminally control her emotions through indirect actions based on sophisticated manipulation techniques. This often ends in flash of repressed rage that is inexplicable or the manipulated one growing up and realizing what is going on.

  • Her partner is straight up verbally abusive or physically violent. In a really-weird, masochistic situation straight out of an Alice Walker novel, she may actually depend on her partner to burn all of these abusive calories because of a twisted Christian view of the corrupted, animalistic self in need of a “firm hand.”

Notice that I have purposely omitted the solution @FocusedSpender shares in her video: her solution is a regimen of self control through behavior modification. This is because I have never really experienced this standing alone within a relationship. My women have always looked to socializing, third-parties for self-realization. The preference here is for something new. @FocusedSpender is inspiring—and, no, she is not based in Los Angeles.

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