Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bernie Mac and Vin Diesel
Before we lose sight and try to make trivia under the non-mantra, “It’s only entertainment.” Let us remind ourselves that Arnold Schwarzenegger is Governor of California in large, large, big-ass part because of “it’s only entertainment.” Vin Diesel may at least once in his life planned to become “the next” Arnold Schwarzenegger but Ronald Reagan’s life, chronicled by the likes of Dr. Gerald Horne in his book Class Struggle in Hollywood, 1930–1950: Moguls, Mobsters, Stars, Reds, and Trade Unionists should quickly suggest to you that there is something else going on “behind the scenes.”
Without having any personal, first-hand knowledge of Vin Diesel, my swaggering bulky confidence leads me to the conclusion that Vin Diesel will get nowhere near Arnold. Bernie Mac has a better chance of becoming a powerful political figure.
Like many Americans who describe themselves as “biracial” (which is the pseudo-technical, modern successor to the words “Seminole” and “Semitic”—you might be able to see the root semi in both of these words—which is another way of saying “half”—unless you have a very expensive Israeli education), Vin Diesel “passed” for white (Italian) in Saving Private Ryan but got somewhat seriously Black when he announced years ago on live, old-fashioned, broadcast television that he was producing Hannibal the Conqueror. And he has talked in public about how he has to change his demeanor to keep white people on the movie set from feeling uncomfortable—even drop-kicking Wesley Snipes knows how to put on a woman’s dress when the white occasion calls for it.
It is no surprise that Vin Diesel made the Hannibal announcement years ago and “nothing” has happened for years. First, any movie is hard to make—no matter what the subject matter is. I can vouch for this personally. But a project like Hannibal the Conqueror is way out of the political comfort zone—even when the validating whiteness of Ridley Scott might be involved. Sometimes you have to water a movie down so much that you are no longer making the movie. You may have to wash it out of the mainstream completely.
My wild, savage guess is that Hannibal the Conqueror might end up like Frank Miller’s 300—which is a deliberate but culturally sincere shout out to fascism—and helps to fuel the imagination of the finger that pushes the button that launches the missile on a Palestinian house with women and children inside. Because fascism comes from the Imperial Roman Latin fasces—and Italy comes from Imperial Rome—and the mob as we know it comes from Italy—and the mob did not disappear from Hollywood after the 1950s. No, my uneducated guess is that the mob made Windows Vista ship late. It had to be “engineered” with a DRM offer you can’t refuse.
Admit it. Those Godfather movies made you root for Michael Corleone. The trilogy is in my DVD collection. And Frank Miller rules my comic book collection. Well, kids, Mikey won (and Frank got to touch Rosario Dawson). Let’s listen to an old Gangsta rap album to celebrate.