Jewel Woods is male. Letâs get that straight. And, without him, I would not have been able to write âFlippant Remarks about the âmass exodus of African American male tourists to Brazilâ.â So I think it is my Blog-civic duty to respond to (almost) all 94 of the items on âThe Black Male Privileges Checklistâ (hat-tip to Liberator Magazine for letting me know about this). I do this heavily under the influence that my opinion does not truly matter to the people who should care the most: that would be Black women in particular and contemporary, urban women in general. Too many women are too busy being oppressed (and I just wrote those words in this sentence without any sarcasm) and making conscious/subconscious plans of revenge against male monsters to care about what this âmonsterâ has to say.
The eye of my imagination sees so clearly a woman 100 years from now reading my poem, âvoid this misogyny,â being driven to tears with the desire to meet me and talk to me because suddenly I am so interesting. Well, guess what lady: 100 years from now Iâll be dead! And I have been using the most advanced communication technology in the history of the white world for over a decade and I have yet to discover any example of this tool being used to its fullestâespecially in the world of literary arts. So in an effort to contribute to the futureâbecause the future is always better (as it selects for African genes)âhere are my responsible responses:
Leadership & Politics
1. I donât have to choose my race over my sex in political matters.
âPolitical mattersâ is in the marketing department of the business. Iâm in the technical department. The very concept of politics and the polloi are foreign to the real me. âRaceâ is not a real concept for me. Next.
2. When I read African American History textbooks, I will learn mainly about black men.
African American History textbooks are secondary to me. African History has always been my primary concernâeven before Michael Jordan (and his dark complexion) became popular with âmyâ women. African history is about African women. You can spot a pseudo-African snake-oil dealer real quick when he starts talking about Black power without a concern for the English language and no serious prioritization of the regeneration of wisdom-communities of women of color. There is no frickinâ way in the world a group of wise, strong African women would treat me like the shit that supposedly I am according to properly-assimilated âreal worldâ women. So clearly I am biased toward all of us studying the world of wise women. For an example, see âVandana Shiva: Planting Seeds for Change.â
3. When I learn about the Civil Rights Movement & the Black Power Movements, most of the leaders that I will learn about will be black men.
This item is just like item #2 only framed differently. In addition, here is an excerpt from âMy Three Sexist Assumptions of the Apocalypseâ:
For you other Negro asses out there who just happen to be reading this, you should have no motherfucking problem recognizing that the Civil Rights Movement is founded upon the social organizing principles of women of African descent. Yes, you want to credit some Negro preacher man in a suit and you want to credit some Quakerly Jewish lawyer but nothing would have happened without organized Black women.
4. I can rely on the fact that in the near 100-year history of national civil rights organizations such as the NAACP and the Urban League, virtually all of the executive directors have been male.
Read these words carefully, written by an award-winning ACT-SO finalist (in poetry of course): fâ the NAACP! The Garveyite bottom line is this: the NAACP was not allowed to own land. It was in the original charter. So, from the beginning, the organization was not designed to grow any real influence or real power. So whatever manhood is in the organization it is no greater than my manhood because at this time I hold no real estate investments outside of a squalid REIT.
5. I will be taken more seriously as a political leader than black women.
I immediately assume that this is reference to mainstream (âwhiteâ) authority figures taking seriously. Secondarily, I assume this refers to Black church leadersâ realm of influence. These two populations are temporal to meâthese are not of the everlasting so not a concern for me. Get Cynthia McKinney on the phone for this one. Iâll respect her need to talk about this issue.
6. Despite the substantial role that black women played in the Civil Rights Movement and Black Power Movement, currently there is no black female that is considered a ârace leaderâ.
Oprah Winfrey turned that one down in exchange for a larger viewing audience.
7. I can live my life without ever having read black feminist authors, or knowing about black womenâs history, or black womenâs issues.
This is more toward âAmerican privilegeâ than Black male privilege. For more details, see âPhotograph of Gayl Jones.â
8. I can be a part of a black liberation organization like the Black Panther Party where an âoutâ rapist Eldridge Cleaver can assume leadership position.
No. Iâeven Iâcannot do that.
9. I will make more money than black women at equal levels of education and occupation.
My personal experience does not agree with this observation. Get Microsoftâs Tammara Combs Turner on the phone for this one. The women who choose my career and have my qualifications make more money than I doâsometimes dramatically more. I heard about one sister (through my Black female head hunter) who bought a house built by one of Frank Lloyd Wrightâs assistants. I blame no one but myself for thisâwhen one has to place blame. My number one problem is that I am Black manâmany Black women (and more than one wily brother) know how to take a lot of Eurocentric workplace punishment (because, likely, they took a lot of Afro-centric childhood punishment)âand for those women with the technical chopsâthey will go far, very far. I have trouble fooling meat-and-potatoes guys that I can stomach their corn-beef-hash aesthetic. I explored this back in 2000 in âBryan Wilhite: An IT Fundamentalist Speaks.â
Now there are Black women who think (through an ironic mixture of self-limiting egocentrism, racism and sexism) they are just as educated as I am and there are Black women who know that I am more educated and trained than they areâand not one of these Black women have ever expressed any serious lasting praise for my accomplishments. When I achieved I assumed I was achieving for my people and my familyâand then myself. I found out the hard, hard way that my achievements are largely seen as self-centered, isolated and individualistic. I have heard similar stories of ambivalence from Black women who return home from college only to be dismissed and avoided.
10. Most of the national âopinion framersâ in Black America including talk show hosts and politicians are men.
One Oprah Winfrey is worth 10,000 Tavis Smileys.
11. I have the ability to define black womenâs beauty by European standards in terms of skin tone, hair, and body size. In comparison, black women rarely define me by European standards of beauty in terms of skin tone, hair, or body size.
This is simply a lie. I have a childhood filled with Black girls identifying my dark skin color as âwrongâ in various capacities. Since I actually grew up in a Black working class neighborhood in Los Angeles, my earliest, direct experiences with racism was through these Black girls. And these Black girls are still here to this day. Just because some male-dominated rap videos came out in the last 15 years suddenly itâs us Black men doing all the hating? Hah!
When we just have to get Freudian than know that my mother was flawlessly chocolateâand this is why my light-skinned father was attracted to her. I have my Dadâs taste in women but I also inherited my motherâs view of her dark self through the kind of women I easily attract in my life.
12. I do not have to worry about the daily hassles of having my hair conforming to any standard image of beauty the way black women do.
This is absolutely true. Do read âThe Black Hair Thing.â
13. I do not have to worry about the daily hassles of being terrorized by the fear of gaining weight. In fact, in many instances bigger is better for my sex.
I am the child of a mother who was terrorized by her mother about her appearanceâincluding her weight. So even though âI do not have to worryââmy mother was not my servant, she was my mother. And to this day, I can feel her pain. And I largely destroyed much of what ânormalâ people would call a ânormal family lifeâ because of my desire to âsaveâ my mother through relationships with women who were almost supernaturally like my mother. This savior complex of mine was a necessary horror.
14. My looks will not be the central standard by which my worth is valued by members of the opposite sex.
Iâm suspicious of this one. As women seek equality with male patriarchal stereotypes, Iâm seeing more than a few selecting males for youth and beautyâjust like a male would. It is an error to assume that most womenâespecially properly-assimilated American womenâare looking for a companion for some kind of sophisticated psychological experience.
Sex & Sexuality
15. I can purchase pornography that typically shows men defile women by the common practice of the âmoney shot.â
It is an error to assume that all âhealthyâ males consume pornography. Serious studies of African history before Islam shows that âhealthyâ males were indoctrinated into what I call âfertility conspiraciesââmales were exposed to real, live girls in ritualized, regulated sex games. I understand how totally alien this can be to so-called Afrocentric peopleâbut just perhaps you might understand how this assumption that I consume pornography with âmoney shotsâ is insulting to me. I prefer Japanese gravure videos! No nudity and more sexy!
16. I can believe that causing pain during sex is connected with a womanâs pleasure without ever asking her.
I hate this âbeliefâ because it is actually true for women in a love/hate relationship with patriarchy and gluttony. Women have asked me to smack that assâhard. Now I did not hate to smack that ass but I hate the larger system of lowered sensitivity and confusion. Women are very tough. They largely have higher thresholds of pain than males doâespecially me. More than a few women will look down on me for preferring to go slow and gentle with them because they prefer to ride hard most of the time. Iâm just keeping it real and letting you know, homes.
17. I have the privilege of not wanting to be a virgin, but preferring that my wife or significant other be a virgin.
I prefer that my wife not have herpes. It is for purely strategic reasons: I do not want to risk an outbreak during pregnancy that might harm our childrenâand her. I leave all that virginity stuff to wealthy Catholics.
18. When it comes to sex if I say âNoâ, chances are that it will not be mistaken for âYesâ.
My personality is designed (often against my lustful will) to repulse women who actually do say no and they mean yes. There is no woman sexier than a woman who means yes and can look you straight in the eyes and say, âYes.â The ideal behind this is that I desire a woman in my life that deliberately chooses to be with meânot one I caught like some soldier riding on horseback in an Indo-European battle field. There are army men and there are family men.
19. If I am raped, no one will assume that âI should have known betterâ or suggest that my being raped had something to do with how I was dressed.
See âHow a Terrifying Moment in Toni Morrisonâs Beloved Relates to 1990s Thug Musicâ and get back to me.
20. I can use sexist language like boninâ, laying the pipe, hittin-it, and banging that convey images of sexual acts based on dominance and performance.
There are army men and there are family men.
21. I can live in a world where polygamy is still an option for men in the United States as well as around the world.
Ousmane SembĂšne on polygamy:
You have to understand how these women are raised. Thereâs a real hierarchyâthe senior wife, the second wife, and the junior wife. Then the man is the supreme master, so to speak. But, when I say that the man is the supreme master, it is because he believes this. In actuality, the first wife, not the husband, wields the power. People donât say this, but itâs something thatâs unspoken.
Thatâs why in the context of polygamy in my society, I just see the man as a progenitorâthe only role he has is to make babies [laughs]. He has to satisfy his own sexual appetites, but he also has to satisfy the three womenâs sexual needs. Heâs just a sex machine, so to speak [laughs]. Of course, in this situation thereâs inevitably some sort of rivalry between the three wives because theyâre often denied sexual satisfaction. And when the man is around, no matter what heâs done during the previous night, he has to perform sexually. To help him perform, the woman feeds him food that functions as an aphrodisiac. Since women know more about these aphrodisiacs than men do, they share their secrets.
22. In general, I prefer being involved with younger women socially and sexually.
I prefer to be with holistically healthy, mature women who can hold a conversation with me. Just read what I have written here and guess what kind of woman you know that would be very eager to talk to me because this woman moves thoughts like gold diggers move mountains. Tell that woman to look me up on Facebook. I wonât hold my breath.
23. In general, the more sexual partners that I have the more stature I receive among my peers.
I do not socialize my sexuality among other males. One might call this behavior of mine âhomophobic.â My priority is to get down with one woman several thousand times instead of trying to process several thousand women. Itâs a form of yogaâa weird fantasy of co-ed monasticism.
24. I have easy access to pornography that involves virtually any category of sex where men degrade women, often young women.
This is like saying to me that I have âeasy accessâ to bags of refined white sugar to pour directly into my mouth.
25. I have the privilege of being a part of a sex where âpurity ballsâ apply to girls but not to boys.
What the fâ is a âpurity ballâ? This sounds like teenaged, unregulated American Imperial sex games. There is something known as Imperial SexualityâŠ
26. When I consume pornography, I can gain pleasure from images and sounds of men causing women pain.
27. I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on insulting and disrespecting women; especially mothers.
The whole point of Black âyoâ mommaâ jokes is that it actually pisses a real Black man off to have someone talk about his mother. Just because Richard Pryor started a popular movement away from this Black fact has nothing to with me.
28. I have the privilege of not having black women, dress up and play funny charactersâoften overweightâthat are supposed to look like me for the entire nation to laugh.
Tyler Perry had two choices: continue to sleep in his carâbecause his father would not pay for his education (like mine did)âor dress up like a woman to make white men and Black women laugh. Tyler Perry chose not to sleep in his car. Iâm sure Flip Wilson and many others had similar choices. I choose to not call that shit a âprivilege.â
29. When I go to the movies, I know that most of the leads in black films are men. I also know that all of the action heroes in black film are men.
Halle Berry will never be another Cleopatra Jones.
30. I can easily imagine that most of the artists in Hip Hop are members of my sex.
I try not to imagine what has become of Hip Hop. Remember that sister in Digable Planets? I wanted LadyBug so badâŠ
31. I can easily imagine that most of the women that appear in Hip Hop videos are there solely to please men.
Iâm still imagining me with LadyBugâŠ holâ upâŠ
32. Most of lyrics I listen to in hip-hop perpetuate the ideas of males dominating women, sexually and socially.
So what. It sucks. White kids buy it. Next!
33. I have the privilege of consuming and popularizing the word pimp, which is based on the exploitation of women with virtually no opposition from other men.
So what. It sucks. White kids buy it. Next!
34. I can hear and use language bitches and hoes that demean women, with virtually no opposition from men.
So what. It sucks. White kids buy it. Next!
35. I can wear a shirt that others and I commonly refer to as a âwife beaterâ and never have the language challenged.
So what. It sucks. White kids buy it. Next!
36. Many of my favorite movies include images of strength that do not include members of the opposite sex and often are based on violence.
One of my favorite movies is in âFlippant Remarks about the Double Life of VĂ©ronique.â
37. Many of my favorite genres of films, such as martial arts, are based on violence.
There are army men and there are family men.
38. I have the privilege of popularizing or consuming the idea of a thug, which is based on the violence and victimization of others with virtually no opposition from other men.
There are army men and there are family men.
39. I have the privilege to define black women as having âan attitudeâ without referencing the range of attitudes that black women have.
I think I wade into this deep water very well in âMy Three Sexist Assumptions of the Apocalypse.â
40. I have the privilege of defining black womenâs attitudes without defining my attitudes as a black man.
This is not so much a Black male privilege as the blindness of egocentrism. Also, I can assure you that I have been expressing my imperfections quite well on this Blog for years and I can only remember one Black woman on this entire planet that responded to me with any form of comprehensive support. She writes âBeautiful, Also, are the Souls of My Black SistersââI also recognize attention from The Black Snob. Other than that most of my people are too busy being oppressed or too young to know to careâto care not just for me but for others online (and in the bricks and mortar) as wellâŠ
41. I can believe that the success of the black family is dependent on returning men to their historical place within the family, rather than in promoting policies that strengthen black womenâs independence, or that provide social benefits to black children.
This item is too deeply invested in European death models to address effectively in the space that I provide myself here.
42. I have the privilege of believing that a woman cannot raise a son to be a man.
This is not a âprivilegeââthis is a tragedy. No child should spend their formative years influenced by the eyes of one personâespecially when the child is male and the parent is a female that deeply âknowsâ that males are foundationally animalistic and inferior. Iâm not here to âdebateâ this shit with you. It takes a village to raise a child. This shit we are living now is not civilization so it should not be talked about too muchâŠ
43. I have the privilege of believing that a woman must submit to her man.
Shut the fâ up. My experience is of the deeper confusion where the womanâespecially the Black womanâwants to submit to her man in bizarre, slavish ways that reminds me of my very unpopular opinion of Kara Walker.
There is no greater privilege in my life than to be chosen again and again as a companion by a free, powerful, healthy, wise woman of color. The reason why I distinguish women of color is because of the monumental physical and metaphysical obstacles they have to overcome to be truly free in thought. In the same manner that the male penis goes deep into the physical body, yes, we can go deep into the non-physical body of the woman. Too many women are too, too quick to deny what I am implying hereâbecause what I have seen in the souls of âmyâ women are imbroglios that truly baffle.
44. I have the privilege of believing that before slavery gender relationships between black men and women were perfect.
Really. Shut the fâ up. The end of the world started when Upper and Lower Egypt was unified. Anything after, is all that indigenous woman-centric cultures built being unraveled and degraded. Yes, it took thousands of yearsâand here we areâŠ
45. I have the privilege of believing that feminism is anti-black.
Get bell hooks on the phone and get back to me.
46. I have the privilege of believing that the failure of the black family is due to the black matriarchy.
This is literally perverse. This item is of a trend that implies that Black male âprivilegeâ identifies with white male privilege. This is just wrong.
47. I have the privilege of believing that household responsibilities are womenâs roles.
First of all, few people that I know actually have a household. Secondly, too many women I know can barely keep a structured domicile for themselves let alone for another person (including children).
Homemaking is a technical skill. Think of how much money fake-ass Martha Stewart has made and perhaps we can have a materialistic idea of how much homemaking is worth in both males and females. Find me an African maleâfrom Africaâthat cannot cook and you are probably showing me the son of a cleptocratic, Eurocentric family.
48. I have the privilege of believing that black women are different sexually than other women and judging them negatively based on this belief.
My guess is that this item mixes two debilitating influences on the sexuality of Black women: the traditional need to suppress open, honest sexuality to prevent rape and murder during the era of legal American slavery and the white missionary tradition of suppressing female sexuality that still runs the Black church to this day.
My other guess is that this item suggests that we Black males have the âprivilegeâ to âescapeâ these debilitating influences on Black women by having more âopen,â âhonestâ sex with women from different so-called âraces.â
Many Black men who have spoken to me about this do not consider this a âprivilegeâ but, at best, an âalternativeâ and at worst the last resort. Do remember that the Black men that speak to me (about these personal issues) are not famous Hollywood actors, investment bankers, sports stars or any celebrity of any kind.
What about me? I have yet to have a serious, adult, long-lasting relationship with a non-Black woman. That does not mean I have not tried! Hey! Look me up on Facebook, G!
I am just going to avoid covering the sports section point by point. I just have two comments: one is that women have the right to be dumb jocks too. And, two, I do remember playing soccer (football) in the park on a hot summer day with a beautiful Haitian-American woman named Fay Jasmine Walker. She became seriously angry when I took my shirt off because she knew she could not take hers off. She also knew that she was physically fit and very comfortable with her chocolate-body self-image. I felt so strongly for her that I put my shirt back onâŠ I have told this story to many other womenâmany of whom not as physically fit as Jasmineâand these ladies aggressively donât care to know just what the big deal wasâŠ
61. I have the privilege of being a part of a sex where the mutilation and disfigurement of a girlâs genitalia is used to deny her sexual sensations or to protect her virginity for males.
Again this is not a âprivilegeââthis is just ostentatious sarcasm.
62. I have the privilege of not having rape be used as a primary tactic or tool to terrorize my sex during war and times of conflict.
More ostentatious sarcasm.
63. I have the privilege of not being able to name one female leader in Africa or Asia, past or present, that I pay homage to the way I do male leaders in Africa and/or Asia.
Ancient Japan was ruled by women. I tend to remember this quite frequently. In Africa, in the Old Kingdom, the women chose the male king. Sounds complicated but the bottom line is that women ruled in composition with men.
64. I have the ability to travel around the world and have access to women in developing countries both sexually and socially.
I mentioned âFlippant Remarks about the âmass exodus of African American male tourists to Brazilââ earlier.
65. I have the privilege of being a part of the sex that starts wars and that wields control of almost all the existing weapons of war and mass destruction.
Again, the author too easily confuses white patriarchy with traditional African manhood. I understand how easy it is to do this, but he should stop. Stopping this will make him a better person but he will get fewer dates with the population of properly-assimilated women and their confused, malformed love/hate of patriarchy.
66. In college, I will have the opportunity to date outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women will.
Black women actually shunned me at UCSB. There were so few of them there. Remember those girls with the skin color issues? They did not disappearâas much as they would like to deny it. At 21, I married a Latina. She was brown like my motherâŠ but still, to this day, very white (self-alienated) on the insideâŠ
67. I have the privilege of having the phrase âsewing my wild oatsâ apply to my sex as if it were natural.
Please. Go make me some hoâ cakes.
68. I know that the further I go in education the more success I will have with women.
Wrong! Very wrong. Itâs the money that you get from an education that attracts many womenânot the education itself. Only one Black woman talked to me at length about how aroused she got when she began to feel my thoughts. Those were the good olâ daysâŠ
69. In college, black male professors will be involved in interracial marriages at much higher rates than members of the opposite sex will.
OkayâŠ you are losing your liberal, Negro audience with this oneâŠ
70. By the time I enter college, and even through college, I have the privilege of not having to worry whether I will be able to marry a black woman.
This is just a fucking joke. Iâm living proof. Check this: âFlippant Remarks about âGetting the Love You Wantâ.â
71. In college, I will experience a level of status and prestige that is not offered to black women even though black women may outnumber me and out perform me academically.
Yes, I wish I went to Howard instead of UCSB.
72. If I go to an HBCU, I will have incredible opportunities to exploit black women.
Yes, I wish I went to Howard instead of UCSB. I would have had my savior complex turned up to 11. Supposedly, to this day, I would have a fiercely devoted young, educated, healthy Black woman at my side because she would have known that I was actually serious about the power of womanâinstead of the old, bitter, cynical bats flying around me today thinking they are âsmartâ for not taking me seriously. Instead, I went to school in Ronald Reaganâs backyard.
73. What is defined as âNewsâ in Black America is defined by men.
This item is of a trend that implies that Black male âprivilegeâ identifies with white male privilege.
74. I can choose to be emotionally withdrawn and not communicate in a relationships and it be considered unfortunate but normal.
My experience is that ânormalâ women prefer this. I have memories of women wanting to talkâbut itâs actually them doing most of the talking. I am very serious about being a poet so what I say makes too many women want to make me shut fâ up. When I speak, I speak to penetrate. I know that sounds like more male violence but it depends on how the penetration is done and the quality of the surface being breached.
75. I can dismissively refer to another persons grievances as ^*ing.
This is more white shit in Negro form. Very annoying and not meâŠ When you find me dismissing you, this is after I tried to talk to youâseveral times. Remember those women who literally asked to have their asses slapped I mentioned earlier? These tough ladies canât feel it when someone is actually trying to speak with them. Often, through past sexist experiences, that donât have damn thang to do with me, these ladies are over-prepared not to be heard and are underprepared and ill-equipped to actually have the conversation. Again, I refer you to âMy Three Sexist Assumptions of the Apocalypse.â
76. I have the privilege of not knowing what words and concepts like patriarchy, phallocentric, complicity, colluding, and obfuscation mean.
Yeah, thatâs meâor you canât read. In the past, too many women would rather think of themselves as literate and educated, while I permanently remain, to this day, a complete idiot. Do I sound bitter, sweetie? This honestly does not anger me because I have seen what kind intimate relationships some of these âsmartâ women have (or never have) and then I learn something new about poverty in the world.
77. I have the privilege of marrying outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women marry.
To be blunt, many Black women (especially the younger ones) are not truly, deeply upset about Black men marrying women of European origin. What pisses some sisters off is Black men with Asian womenâone bad theory for this is that many Asian women do not meet the European beauty standard that rules so many of our livesâso why would a Black man be attracted?
78. My âstrengthâ as a man is never connected with the failure of the black family, whereas the strength of black women is routinely associated with the failure of the black family.
This statement of âprivilegeâ is just gay.
79. If I am considering a divorce, I know that I have substantially more marriage, and cohabitation options than my spouse.
Yes, but by the way she actâshe does not know thisâŠ thatâs just the horror that is patriarchyâand it is too easy to find women that will consciously and non-consciously defend it.
80. Chances are I will be defined as a âgood manâ by things I do not do as much as what I do. If I donât beat, cheat, or lie, then I am a considered a âgood manâ. In comparison, women are rarely defined as âgood womenâ based on what they do not do.
In my experience, these are âprivilegesâ women (who will consciously and non-consciously defend patriarchy) impose upon males.
81. I have the privilege of not having to assume most of the household or child-care responsibilities.
Again, in my experience, these are âprivilegesâ women (who will consciously and non-consciously defend patriarchy) impose upon males. My mother was not playing that shit. I can run a house better than most sets of three women combined. Women, largely, do not praise me for this. They got too many fâed up problems to go around praising people all the time.
82. I have the privilege of having not been raised with domestic responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, and washing that takes up disproportionately more time as adults.
Wrong. It is because of these domestic skills that makes me proud even arrogant. This power is part of an aesthetic that I valueâlike ancient priests cleaning the temple.
Church & Religious Traditions
83. In the Black Church, the majority of the pastoral leadership is male.
84. In the Black Church Tradition, most of the theology has a male point of view. For example, most will assume that the man is the head of household.
85. I do not have to worry about being considered a traitor to my race if I call the police on a member of the opposite sex.
The framing of this item is just flawed. Most Black men donât even want to see the policeâon a television.
86. I have the privilege of knowing men who are physically or sexually abusive to women and yet I still call them friends.
NawâŠ not reallyâŠ you can have a friend from childhood that you are real close to but as this child grows older into a male adult they sometimes admit things in passing that weakens the bondâŠ as time passes the bond gets weakerâŠ
87. I can video tape women in publicâoften without their consentâwith male complicity.
Again, I do not share my sexuality with males as some kind ritual of âbondingââI was not into team sports that much while growing up.
88. I can be courteous to a person of the opposite sex that I do not know and say âHelloâ or âHiâ and not fear that it will be taken as a come-on or fear being stalked because of it.
I actually hateâdeeply hateâthe fact that a lone woman cannot stop me on the street and introduce herself to me because most are afraid of being physically violated. When we simply must be racist about this matter, I notice that âwhiteâ women are the most comfortable with this rare behaviorâand this also makes me angry (because this is one way some Black men think life is better apart from Black womenâand âwhiteâ women often do this in âexclusive situationsâ where the socioeconomics often bar Black women from the scene).
89. I can use physical violence or the threat of physical violence to get what I want when other tactics fail in a relationship.
I have never done thisâbut I know that (especially in my younger days) some women actually wanted me to be like this. This is because some women under patriarchy only have materialistic/physical concepts of strength and dominance. And they want to have the wartime experience of being with a ârealâ man.
90. If I get into a physical altercation with a person of the opposite sex, I will most likely be able to impose my will physically on that person.
In my little world of unpopularity, the greatest âpunishmentâ I have for a woman is to âbanishâ her. Iâm one of those strange people that actually thinks a woman is pleased simply by being in my presenceâand to take that away from her is violence enoughâŠ This punishment is not very effective but, by habit, itâs all I haveâŠ maybe I should teach myself to body slam peopleâŠ
91. I can go to parades or other public events and not worry about being physically and sexually molested by persons of the opposite sex.
Have you been to West Hollywood on the wrong day?
92. I can touch and physically grope womenâs bodies in publicâoften without their consentâwith male complicity.
There are army men and there are family men.
93. In general, I have the freedom to travel in the night without fear.
Yes. And I cannot stand people who live in fear. But many men who travel the streets of Iraq at night are very afraid.
94. I am able to be out in public without fear of being sexually harassed by individuals or groups of the opposite sex.
Have you been to West Hollywood on the wrong day? I may be forty but Iâm still pretty, baby! Snap! Snap! Snap!