Today’s Food: My imaginary ex-girlfriend fictionally conspires to get me fat and insulin-sticky with gluten-free carbs!

Michelle of Michelle’s Naturally

I look at a photograph of Michelle of Michelle’s Naturally and I immediately think ‘yup: imaginary ex-girlfriend…’ In my two-inch fantasy, we ‘used to’ go out but she got bored and went on to bigger and better things, like making the best cookies in my world. I sincerely and deeply expect my ex-women-friends imagined and real to continue to excel and grow after dumping me. And my imaginary Michelle makes me grow (fat) in a good/bad way: her cookies are so tasty that I eat them in the car while driving away from the grocery store. Michelle's Naturally Gluten Free and Vegan Chokolada Chip™ Cookies

I enjoy eating her “Chokolada,” vegan, gluten-free cookies with a bottle of Sambazon Organic Açaí Berry & Chocolate Smoothie. It is my adult replacement of (chocolate) milk and chocolate chip cookies. This could be yet more of my bias but I think that her gluten-free version of her chocolate-chip cookies tastes better than her “regular” vegan cookies.

I cannot overstate how difficult it is to make gluten-free, vegan versions of cookies taste better than super-sweetened, high-glycemic sand—and Michelle comes out on top by evoking primal, taste-bud memories of my non-health-food childhood. Apart from the challenges all gluten-free food makers have with glycemic index, my only complaint for Michelle’s Naturally is that their cookies are packaged such that they stick together in the bag—and I can’t eat them easily while driving! One of my short-term goals (okay long-term goals) is to teach myself to eat Michelle’s cookies properly and with blood-sugar-levelling moderation. I need to calm the f’ down and learn how to enjoy pleasures in a meditative manner! Amazon.com product

Here in Southern California over the years I’ve seen Michelle’s Naturally cookies in Whole Foods (occasionally), Erewhon (a relatively recent surprise) and Rainbow Acres (all the time!)… By the way, in case you are unable to find Michelle’s gluten-free, vegan cookies these are the alternatives in decreasing order of preference:

  • Grindstone Bakery Dark Chocolate Gluten Free Cookies (these are made primarily from quinoa; I get them from Erewhon and do not see them on the Grindstone Bakery web site). This brand has serious packaging problems: the heat (?) seal often comes apart and an entire shelf of cookies can be exposed to the open air.
  • Andean Dream Quinoa Chocolate Chip Cookies (these are very expensive, surely in large part because they are individually wrapped in space-age, silver jumpsuits!).
  • Vegan Java Chip from Breakaway Bakery (not in grocery stores as of this writing so a special trip to the bakery must be made).

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